Cancellation notices. Bills. Depression. Marriage trials. Spiritual warfare.
These seem to be my mountains. Not even just lately, seems as if I have been attempting to climb these mountains for a lifetime. You’ve heard of the saying, taking two steps forward then being pushed three steps back. Instead of just steps backwards, I could swear I am being propelled to the pit of the mountain.
About six months ago, I made a decision that is still effecting my household today. The company that my husband and I were both working for decided to remove their office space and relocate to a even further side of town. I adored that company, feeling as if they were family. Not to mention, it was family with my sister and husband working alongside me. Reaching a two year mark of employment, I was determined to make the commute work. Not sure how I would mange but I had faith it was manageable. To be completely honest, I did not want to make the commute. Dropping the kids off to school and making a at least forty-five minute drive all by 7:30am was going to be a challenge.
For weeks I had been attempting to enroll my daughter into the Christian daycare attached to our church. She had been on the waiting list. My girlfriend Haley being employed there received some information to pass along to me. I was offered to become a infant teacher with free childcare for my children. The church was five minutes on the dot from my house, I would be surrounded by godly women and my children would be enrolled at no expense. I thought this was a no brainer and a solution to the commute circumstance.
Who would have thought that saving $650.00 a month would actually cost us. You’re probably wondering how could saving that much money be a loss. This decision would consist of over an fifty percent of a pay cut. Convinced that saving on gas and childcare, this was what God wanted me to do. If only I was obedient with following God’s plan, he would provide. Despite the financial hardship; I truly believe God provided in so many other ways.
Right now, my mountains may include, cancellation notices, bills, depression etc. Although having the faith even as little as a mustard seed has kept me pressing forward even on the grueling days. I have since left the daycare in efforts to help relieve my household from distress. I do know that God placing me in the daycare had nothing to do with money but instead my spiritual growth. Prior to the daycare, despite loving these people, working with others that did not have the same belief system as I did was testing. Becoming a new again Christian in my relationship with Jesus, it was difficult to answer some questions or handle the oppressions of the opinion of a non-believer. I would become angry, annoyed and sometimes even question my faith because I felt silly being stumped. It was so easy to go back to living world like. God knew I needed to be removed from that specific spiritual stumbling block.
Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way – Romans 14:13
Since the daycare, I was taught many things. First, the importance of my relationship with God. Especially how important to show that to our children. Second, a great deal of grace and love. Third, how to be humble and work on checking my pride. (Honestly a whole lot of patience too! Taking care of other peoples children is no walk in the park.) As a former daycare employee, I want to give recognition where it is due! If you have children, make sure you show appreciation to their teachers. They do it out of the love of their hearts.
I may not still know what God’s plan for me is but I can see it unraveling little by little in front of me. With each trial has come with its own special gift from above.
While working at the daycare, with the income decrease, managing out bills became on some days were unbearable. Barely able to make rent. We were getting to the point of if I did not find another source of income, we were on the verge of having to relocate back to our parents. Of course we did not want to move our family that we’ve created.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future – Jeremiah 29:11
I have learned to not underestimate God. Within the same week of deciding to go back to our parents. We were able to move into a new home with the additional space we needed for our children for LESS. In that same week, I also landed the highest paying job I ever had in my career. We may have some cancellation notices now but rent is always paid and we were working towards getting back ahead.
Then things take another turn. The saying “money doesn’t buy happiness”. I learned to be very true. The highest pay job I landed in my career just happened to be just that. I was miserable going there. The money was great. The environment; not so much. I could tell, that place just wasn’t where I was suppose to be. That job to me seemed to be a stepping stone used by God to show me the type of environment I needed for him to grow me and use me.
God sent me to the job I am currently at and it has been the perfect fit in so many ways. Both of the jobs have been steps to pursue my passion and calling to write. Never before would I have seen myself where I am now. I may still have mountains but I can say the mustard seeds of faith in each of these situations gives me a reminder that nothing is impossible for God and his plan. There is a season for everything for you to grow according to God’s plan. All you have to do is plant that small seed of faith and it’ll grow bigger then that mountain you have!
And He *said to them, “Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you – Matthew 17:20